proactive
Last week, when I went to get a prescription refilled, the pharmacist updated my medical record and congratulated me on being so proactive about my health. I eat fruits and vegetables, she noted, and I swim three times a week (which she applauded as being particularly healthy). Then she told me I was an easy patient. I smiled tightly, accepted my gold star and my medicine, and walked home (in the process adding another gold star to my good patient chart) .
I’m never good at coming up with quick comebacks on the spot, but here’s what I should have said:
I can be proactive because I have enough income to pay for healthy, fresh food.
I can be proactive because I live in a neighbourhood with grocery stores and farmers’ markets within walking distance.
I can be proactive because I don’t need to use a car for every activity.
I can be proactive because I have a roof over my head, and four walls, and plumbing, and electricity, and heating.
I can be proactive because I have secure housing and a mortgage I can afford, not a sky high rental agreement or a shelter or a tent.
I can be proactive because I can store fresh fruit and vegetables in my own fridge and I know they’ll be there when I go looking for them.
I can be proactive because I can cook things on my own stove.
I can be proactive because I can freeze leftovers or make things in bulk.
I can be proactive because I can buy what I need whenever I need it.
I can be proactive because I don’t need to wait until the next paycheque and hope the things I need are available and affordable.
I can be proactive because I can rest when I need to, and move when I want to.
I can be proactive because I live in a safe (and beautiful) neighbourhood.
I can be proactive because the city plows sidewalks in winter.
I can be proactive because there are green spaces within walking distance.
I can be proactive because I have access to fresh, clean air.
I can be proactive because I can breathe in the smells, sounds, and sights of the natural world.
I can be proactive because there are three swimming pools within walking distance of my house.
I can be proactive because I can afford to pay for a gym membership to use the pool.
I can be proactive because I’m at a stage in my life where I can somewhat ignore the healthist and fatphobic bullshit that inevitably accompanies any gym membership.
I can be proactive because I don’t have to pay for childcare when I choose to go swimming.
I can be proactive because my kids are adults, and I don’t have to worry about childcare at all.
I can be proactive because I can afford to buy a swimsuit and towels.
I can be proactive because I have time and flexibility in my schedule.
I can be proactive because I work in a low-risk environment and can take breaks when I need them.
I can be proactive because there are two library branches in walking distance, so I can fill my spirit whenever I need to.
I can be proactive because I have economic security, which means that my brain and body are not constantly filled with all the anxieties that come along with never having enough to make ends meet.
It hasn ‘t always been this way.
I haven’t always had enough money for a pool membership.
I haven’t always had enough money to pay for childcare.
I haven’t always lived in a place where sidewalks are plowed and where I can move safely in winter. (looking at you, St. John’s)
I haven’t always had enough money for healthy food.
I haven’t always had a flexible schedule.
I haven’t always been able to withstand the judgmental commentaries of others.
I haven’t always had access to good (or safe) housing or economic security.
For many years, I was far from being an ideal gold-star patient.
Could I have been more proactive? I suppose. But honestly? There’s an awful lot I was in no position to change.
TL;DR: Here’s what I should have said: “Proactive? Or privileged?” And then maybe we could have had a great conversation about the social determinants of health.
[in other, not entirely unrelated, news, the head of ER in St. John’s, NL says there is no gender bias in emergency rooms because he’s never seen it].
